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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Ophir's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, September 28th, 2008
3:05 pm
Consolidating
It's been a while... too long actually, since I've posted. I stare at the screen and want to post something, but some unseen force always seems to delay or discourage me. I think a part of it is that my blogging is so spread out over different platforms. So I've decided to consolidate all of it into one location, my blogger. I'm still going to use Myspace/Facebook/Livejournal to keep in touch with people, but in terms of brain-dumping, I'm moving it. If you want to keep up with it, feel free to check it out. Otherwise, I'll still be here, just posting my thoughts elsewhere.

Until next time,

Adieu~

http://okpanda.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
11:08 am
Ohio, Boston and the River Styx
It's been a pretty amazing week.

Last Wednesday Alan and I flew out to Columbus, Ohio to work the Origins Game Fair. It's one of the largest gaming conventions in the United States and we were there to work the Bucephalus Games booth. I ended up running demonstrations, exclusive presentation and just generally helping out in whatever way I can. I had a really great time, my passion for gaming really came through and allowed me to be at my very best (to my great benefit.) Turns out (contrary to what I've usually experienced in my life) hard work and determination actually get rewarded! I made lots of great business contacts, schmoozed with the right people and definitely took several steps forward in furthering my career. Aside from work there was plenty of play: ComFest 2008 (this enormous hippy festival), lots of different bars, a VIP party (Barfleet, WOO!) and just generally chillin' with the boys from Seattle. All in all it was a lot of hard work with very little sleep but it was a blast! The weather was AWFUL though: Hot, Humid, Thunderstorms, Tornadoes... I'm from Los Angeles, God Damnit, we don't have that kind of shit here! I wish I could go to Gen Con (I'll be in Israel at the time) but I know I'll be there to work all of the other cons.

Last night I took my dad to go see Boston and Styx at the Gibson Amphitheater at Universal Studios. It was an excellent show; even though some of the original members from both bands are gone. Regardless, I heard almost all the songs I wanted to hear (Boston didn't play Higher Power... poop) and rocked out hard to my favorites. It was nice to be able to spend some private time with my dad - usually we're doing family stuff or have other siblings involved - and I think he was happy to spend some time with just me as well. The time I spend with him just furthers my own feelings of wanting to be a father and spending this time with my own child (or children.)

I am very much looking forward to the party this Saturday. It's been a good long time since the Friar House held such an event and I know it's going to be a good one. We're lowering the key this year and just sticking to the basics: Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Beer, Chips, Salsa, Guacamole. It's going to be chill and I'm looking forward to being able to spend some party time with my friends. I hope to see you guys there!

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: awake
Sunday, June 22nd, 2008
9:45 pm
It's that time of year again!
That's right ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of year again. This 5th of July 2008 we will be celebrating the birth of Ophir, Dylan and Tor.

So where is this party?

The Friar House
23525 Friar St.
Woodland Hills, CA 91367

When is this party?

Saturday, July 5th 2008
5pm - Whenever we kick you out.

Anything else?
We will provide some basic party stuff but if there is something you really want there, bring it yourself! We appreciate this here at the Friar House, thank you.

We hope to see you there!

Current Mood: cheerful
Tuesday, June 10th, 2008
3:09 pm
Thinking 4th Dimensionally
Day after day I stare at my assorted blogging sites and can't bring myself to update. I don't know why, but for some reason I couldn't muster the motivation to do it. It's been almost six months since last I dumped my brain onto the net; and for all that has happened, in retrospect it doesn't seem like much. Here is my attempt to update along with other things on my mind:

Completion of my undergraduate degree was - in the end - successful. My diploma was mailed to me at the end of December. A few weeks ago I walked at my graduation ceremony. The long road of education, at least for the moment, has come to an end. When I moved my tassel to signify the end of my undergraduate studies, I had a strange moment of clarity where I vividly remembered my first day of school: My mother fought with me to get me out of the house... I was crying... I didn't want to go. And then, like a blur, it all flashed forward and then I was there, at CSUN, looking at the morning sky. It was over.

I have been trying to come to terms with that feeling of, "What do I do now?" Those feelings couldn't be addressed because of an upcoming trip to Europe that my brother and mutual friend Jose are taking. The original plan was to take a CSUN sponsored trip to Berlin and Prague. But due to circumstances we ended up making our own trip to Europe; going through London, Dublin and Amsterdam. After that, we're spending 2 weeks in Israel, visiting family, going to 2 weddings and seeing the sights (It's been 8 years since Orry and I have been there.) We are very much looking forward to the trip, we leave at the end of July.

It is also because of this trip that my career plans are somewhat on hold. It makes no sense to try and find a career when I'm going to have to leave for a month shortly after getting the job. So for now I'm still serving at CPK in Tarzana. I don't really like the work, but the people are nice and the money is good.

On the subject of my career, I had an excellent experience in April. Dan Tibbles (veteran of the gaming industry and owner of his own company) needed some people to help him at GAMA (trade show in Las Vegas) and Alan and I ended up going. I had a fantastic time; I met a lot of people from my industry, made some good contacts and experienced a lot of new products and ideas. If all goes according to plan I'll be flying out to Ohio at the end of June to help Tibbles' company at Origins. I hope to lay make some ground in searching for a career for when I get back from Europe.

Again on the subject of gaming, Dungeons & Dragons 4th edition has come out. It has breathed new life into my gaming group; which has had some problems near the end of 3rd edition. I look forward to running a 4th edition game and we are currently having a blast playing the first published adventure from Wizards. It also helps stimulate my creative juices, which have been suffering due to other problems.

Love has come and gone. That's all I'm going to write about that.

I've seen most of the movies I've wanted to see as they came out. Iron Man, Indy, etc. All good stuff, all good times.

I recently went to a few concerts. Considering I haven't been to a show in a while, it was a welcomed joy. My brother Tahl performed at the Whiskey. His band is very, very good; I'll go so far as to say impressive. Joe Huber (game design buddy from Seattle) surprised me with two free tickets to go see Dethklok at the Wiltern last friday. I took Orry, who is a fan. Soilent Green and Chimera opened. It was an amazing show, one of the best live experiences we've ever had. I got a call from Noelle while at the Dethklok show asking me if I wanted to go see Nonpoint on Sunday. I have been wanting to see them live for a long time (ever since she got me into them). With my ears still ringing from Dethklok I went to see Nonpoint at the Key Club on Sunset. It was also an amazing show and we had a lot of fun.

On the subject of friends: things have been very strange regarding them lately. On the one hand, I've been spending time with people who I haven't seen in a while. I've been enjoying their company and have been involved with more of their plans (I'm even going to a wedding this weekend.) That being said, I haven't been as good as I've wanted to in terms of keeping in touch with people. People who I love, people who have been very important in my life seem to be drifting away... and I'm pretty convinced it's mostly my fault. I like to think of myself as a very good person, but nobody is perfect and we all have our faults. I guess this is just one of mine, I'm pretty terrible at keeping in touch with people and maintaining some friendships. It pains me greatly, because these friendships mean a lot to me... I just don't know. Maybe something is wrong with me. It's almost torturous to see this happening in my life. I'm going to try harder. I can only hope that the people with whom these connections are fading will still want there to be a connection. We'll see. If the connection does break, I'm sorry.

I've been reading a lot. I started Crime & Punishment at my brother's recommendation. It's heavy but I'm getting through it. Keeping up with the news has been very fulfilling. I enjoy globalizing my outlook on life.

I hurt my back recently, but it's better now. Related: I joined a gym and have been working out regularly. It's time I got in shape and made my physical form resemble my mental one.

Doc Brown has told Marty several times: "You're not thinking 4th dimensionally." I've been doing a lot of that lately. I look at myself and try and simultaneously imagine everything in my life from birth through death. I've been revisiting a lot of memories, trying to literally place myself in the moment. I've been doing this not only with myself but with others. I can't help it. It's truly troubling. It's been happening with such force that I sometimes fear I'll lose the present day and be lost in time. Looking forward to my own death disturbs me. It's a daily struggle to not be overwhelmed by the emotional stress of dealing with my own mortality. Existential and other philosophical issues plague my mind and my dreams. Contemplation of the universe and my own minuscule place in it haunt me. Most people have to go out of their way to think about stuff like this, for the most part, they have a solid foundation in the present. I feel like it's almost backward for me. If I let my mind wander, if I do not control it, I end up losing myself to the cosmos, to time and to worry. I have to either consciously work at maintaining my focus on the present, or find distractions. Gaming, friends, social events and cannabis help. But you can only distract yourself so much and you can only do so much when you're alone with your thoughts. And in a very strange way, I feel like it's these overwhelming thoughts that keep me from keeping up with friends and maintaining my focus on the present. I don't know. I just wish it could be like it was when I was younger: When I was lost in fantasy in adventure, when all I cared about was friends, games, music... when work was just a means to fund these things. It's almost like the more I learn about the world and our place in it, the more questions come up and the more it affects me. I sometimes even wish I was ignorant... and I truly have come to understand the phrase: "Ignorance is bliss." Knowledge is a power that I didn't understand. And sometimes I fear that if I do not have a proper hold over it, that it will destroy me.

But other times, well, life has a way of just making you happy. Instead of worrying about the past and the future, I've been making attempts to enjoy life and every moment. I now truly understand why people carry cameras with them everywhere. Holding onto a moment is a very precious thing. Human memory and brain function can't been relied on that much. Sometimes you want to capture time and have it forever. I need a camera.

I felt like my brain was full and my desire to express it great. Posting this stuff helps. It lets me feel like I can leave my concerns and thoughts here and not let them trouble me... kind of like a penseive from Harry Potter. I'm sure there is more I want to post, but for now I feel like I've dumped enough. I'm glad I finally developed the motivation to sit down and write this out. I've got to get ready for work now anyway. When I think of more to write, I'll write it.

I hope that this provided you with some insight into my life and thoughts. I also hope that this helps people keep in touch with me more and maybe even helps re-establish some connections that may have been lost. Or maybe I'm just talking to the sky and no one's really there. Who knows. It makes me feel a little better anyway.

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: thoughtful
Monday, December 17th, 2007
2:58 pm
Hope Is... (Important Message!)
Okay, before I get into the boat-load of information that has happened to be over the past few weeks, I have an announcement. To celebrate the end of the semester, Alan's birthday and my graduation from CSUN, the infamous Friar House is throwing a party! If you've been to our party's before, you know what to expect and how much fun they are; if you haven't, this is an excellent opportunity to start a new tradition for yourself of partying at The Friar! If you can read this message, you are invited, simple as that. I am going to include the poster for the party which has all the relevant information, if you have any other questions get in touch with myself or Alan. Here's the info and I hope to see you there!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Now, onto whats been happening with my life...

The last few weeks of school were traumatizing. My cognition class was coming to a head, I had a huge research paper do, a presentation to prepare for and a final to study for. I had a wonderful and supportive group that made it bearable; and after lots of work and studying, we were able to complete it. My adolescence class taught me more about life through my not being there, than by being there. I've told the story over and over, but the long and short of it is: My grade was coming down to my attendance. I was on the fence with a high C and there was a very real and terrifying chance I wouldn't graduate. The days before my grade was posted was fraught with stress and anxiety; the likes of which plague the mind, body and soul. I got sick, I was distraught and it was one of the most terrible and painful times of my life. Seeing as we're celebrating my graduation, it's suffice to say I passed the class. Regardless, I never want to experience that feeling again; and that was the real lesson of that class. I sold my books back and drove away - thats the last of school for me.

Since the stress of school has started to lift, I've begun to get back in touch with friends outside of my roomates. I got to celebrate Chance's birthday and hang out with the old-school crew; I finally got to go out with Courtney (who's been trying to get me out with her for the better part of 3 months); I spent more time with Lisa; I caught up with Kim; and I even got over my burn on playing D&D (playing, not running.) All in all my social life seems to have been going back to normal, which is very good seeing as I'm an extremely social being.

Omar and Jose are in town from their respective corners of the universe. It's awesome to chill with those guys; very rarely do I get to see them, so I'm taking advantage of it as much as I can.

Work has been getting busier, which is good because it means more money. It's been so slow lately that I haven't been making enough; hopefully this increase in business persists and I get back to the budget I had originally planned for.

As far as the Jews are concerned the Holiday season is over. It was a nice one: I spent time with my family and got some practical gifts. But the greatest gift of call came to me this past Friday...

Taryn, in her infinite love and kindness, decided to fly down from (Butt-Fuck-)Sac Town (Sacramento to you lay-people) and visit me. We had been talking on the phone every day (much to the detriment of our phone bills [ouch]) and have gotten unbelievably closer since she left only a few weeks earlier. Not to get sappy, but it's like we're soul-mates; never have I felt a connection with a person as I do with her... It's almost eerie. Anyway, she came down and I was intent on showing her a good time. We went out to Yamato (she hadn't had Teppan in 5 years!) and Versailles (she's never had cuban food); we saw I Am Legend; smoked some good herb (you should have seen her saturday night, ha!); hung out with friends and shared the nights together (*ahem*). She came and left in what seemed a blink of the eye, she's safely back in Sacramento and I miss her terribly. If nothing else, her trip here solidified our feelings for each other and brought unspoken joy and happiness to both our lives.

*cast Grand Finale* (continuing from the subject of this post)
...a dangerous and fickle thing. Hope can destroy the mind and torture the soul; it can also shine a light into utter darkness and lift the spirits from hell. Poets and storytellers speak of hope in a way I didn't really understand, until recently. I feel as if the first book of my life has come to an end, the book that contained my childhood, adolescence and introduction into the world. After 17 years of school and more experience than I could have imagined it has finally come to an end. What awaits me now is the future I had always dreamed, a future I have always hoped for but could never actually imagine coming true. I do not know what will come, but whatever it is, I will approach it as a new person with a new outlook. I will carry with me these 23 years of life and use them to help me navigate the next 23. I do not know what the future holds, but I am eager to find out.

Until next time,

Adieu~

Weep no more (Weep no more!)
We will prevail (We will prevail!)
Grieve no more (Grieve no more!)
We will prevail (We will prevail!)
Hope is not lost...


Current Mood: contemplative
Sunday, November 25th, 2007
2:01 pm
The Man in Me and other Major Esoterica
This has been one of the most eventful, exciting and miraculous weeks of my life. Time for a recap (warning, its a doozy):

Tuesday... Poster Day... Lisa gave me a bunch of posters... really good posters. It took me 4 hours or so, but I finally got all the ones I wanted up on my walls and ceiling. Where before my room was considered "Spartan" (a bed, a small end-table and a lamp - completely blank walls) it now has a much better feel. I've always wanted a room whose walls are covered in awesome posters, and now I have it. Thank you Lisa, you rock hard.

Wednesday... The Day Before... Colby and I went to go see Hitman. It was very entertaining and enjoyable. I also hosted a little kick-back with Tahl and some of his friends. It was a fun evening and an interesting preamble to the approaching Thanksgiving weekend.

I got a chance to talk to Taryn and she surprised me by telling me that her, Chantelle (her sister) and Sean (Chantelle's husband) are coming down from Sacramento for Thanksgiving. I was so unbelievable excited I couldn't contain myself! It was one thing to start getting closer to Taryn, but I couldn't have asked for a better opportunity to get to know her better and spend more time with her. Which brings us to Thursday:

Thursday... Thanksgiving day... Poor Lisa hasn't been able to do her laundry due to various circumstances so I welcomed her to do it at my home. She came by around noon and hung out while her clothes were in our 1960's appliances. She confessed to me that she had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving; seeing as I couldn't have that, especially with a friend whom I care for, I forced her to join me and my family for Thanksgiving. She accepted and after my cousin and others showed up, we all left for my parents house. Thanksgiving was very good, tons of food, lots of people, good atmosphere. Everyone liked Lisa very much and I'm pretty sure she enjoyed herself... at least after she got comfortable with all the strangers forcing food down her throat and asking her deep probing questions. Anyway, we returned from dinner and chilled back at the Friar House. Taryn, Sean and Chantelle showed up and we all hung around, enjoying each others company till about 1am. I got to get closer with Taryn, I got to bask in the glory of Chantelle and exchange witty repartee with Sean. Lisa left around Midnight with (most) of her clothing and we called it a night.

Friday... Black Friday... Work was interesting, mostly dead then a crazy rush. The point is what happened afterward. Sean asked me to call him after work, I did and got the following:

S: "So, Ophir... Do you own a suit?"
O: "Yes, I do. It's most uncomfortable... and I need to go find it... but I do own one."
S: "Very good, go find it. I want to take you away."
O: "Take me away? Where?"
S: "To a magical place... a place... with a castle."
O: "What place might this be?"
S: "The Magic Castle."
O: "I'll go find my suit."

I rushed home, showered, shaved, got dressed all dapper and got picked up by Sean. We met up with Diaz, Taryn and Chantelle at Sean's parent's house. Apparently Sean's friend is a prodigal sorcerer at the Magic Castle and he got us in without a cover. Let me just say, the Magic Castle is by far one of the coolest places I've ever been... and I've been to Jerusalem. It was absolutely amazing, everything was so formal but all the people there were really cool. We saw a bunch of amazing performances, visited all 7 bars and the pub, drank and even sang Bohemian Rhapsody with a ghost that haunts a piano... she takes requests... hah! After that incredible evening we proceeded to Makoto Sushi, which is open till 1am, and had ourselves a midnight meal! I even got to smoke out with Brentan, the magician, while we were on our way over there. How crazy is that... Anyway, it was one of the greatest nights of my life as I got to go to a place I've wanted to go to since I was 12, I got to spend more time with Taryn and I made a new friend! I got home late and needed to go to bed since I had to be up in the morning... but I got ambushed by Orry, Jose, Nikki and Ian. They were in town and I had to blaze with them in order to meet my requirement of hanging out with them while they are in town. I went to bed late and woke up early for...

Saturday... more magical than Friday... I had to wake up early, why? Because today we were going to the Museum of Jurassic Technology in Culver City. Alan, Kat and I went for breakfast then headed out for the place. It's this seemingly small building juxtaposed between a paint store and some other random establishment. Turns out its this amazingly cool and crazy museum about... well... you kind of have to go there to really get a feel for it. The website (go google it) doesn't do it much justice. Let's just say it's another of the coolest places I've ever been... and I'm definitely going back. I got to see most of the museum but there were at least 2 exhibits that eluded me. They also have a small tea house are where free tea and cookies are served. I really dug the whole place. I got to spend even more time with Taryn and well... things progressed... let's just say. Regardless, Alan, Kat and I ended up leaving before the rest of them as Alan needed to get home to work on game and I needed to spend time with Alyssa. We got back and I finally got a hold of dear Alyssa. We met up for coffee and caught up on life, the universe and everything. I adore Alyssa and was saddened that I couldn't spend more time with her. She is an absolute dream to chat with and I am fortunate to be on the permanent list of people she sees when she comes into town. Our time was cut short, but I was grateful for the opportunity to spend time with her.

New paragraph... same day... Taryn, Sean, Chantelle and Aaron (a friend that came down with them) came over to hang out one last time before they left for Sacramento. Alan and the gang were playing D&D out back while the rest of us chilled in the living room. We ordered pizza, smoked some giggly-weed and watched The Big Lebowski (most of them hadn't seen it! I know! Seriously!) Again, I got to be close with Taryn but despite all of our time spent together, we never really had much privacy. The night ended late and the Sacramento crew needed to be off as they had to travel back the next day (today.) And that's how it ended... almost as abruptly as it started... a wonderful breeze that seemed to fill my soul with joy had passed and moved on to the infinite. It left me with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia and longing... as if I had just finished a grand adventure and now a part of my soul... my light... my happiness... has gone. Taryn and I parted with a hug and a promise to speak later. How I wish I could have had more time. *sigh*

They left and I planned on going right to bed. But for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. I even tried vaping some more to help put myself in the mood for bed... and maybe help me put aside what my heart was going through. It didn't work. Thankfully Kyle came home at that point, around 1:30. We ended up talking till 3, went to get food, and then continued to talk till 5am. I still wasn't tired. I crawled into bed, set my alarm for 2:30 in the afternoon today and proceeded to be alone with my thoughts. I think I passed out at 5:30'ish to a night of strange and terrifying dreams.

Sunday... the day after... I woke up today at 11:30 in the morning. Nikki and Ian needed to pick up some stuff I bought for them. They came by, picked it up, and continued on their way to Santa Cruz. I imagine that Taryn, Sean and Chantelle had woken up relatively early as well and made they way back to Sacramento. Now I'm sitting here watching The Librarian and waiting for the time I need to start getting ready for work. Looking back on this whole week, I'm not the same person anymore. It's as if an awesome and overwhelming Tornado touched down in my life for 4 days and then passed, leaving in its wake a landscape foreign, beautiful and terrifying. My life felt so full, joyous and unbelievably amazing while everyone was here... and now that they are gone, everything seems darker, hollow and empty. It's as if I caught a glimpse of the potential for happiness and fulfillment in my life... something that can actually be... that this is what your life could be like... and just like that, it goes away; leaving me with a sense of longing for what could have been and could yet still be. Who knows where I go from here, I only know that there is a man within me who was found and brought out for a blink of the eye... a man who was always there, but it took something special to bring him forth. It's comforting to know that the man is there; I had begun to think that there was no hope for something like this... now I have been proven wrong. I take this sorrow and melancholy and embrace it. I have been lonely for so long I thought I would never feel love again. I was wrong... I asked for this, I wanted it it and I am grateful to have it. I am fortunate to be able to feel this loss and detachment, because it means there is something greater than myself out there which can make myself whole again. I need only pursue it.

I will forever associate The Big Lebowski with my experience with Taryn this past week. I have made the neural and emotional connections and that pleases me. Furthermore, not to be a sap, but I connected a song in that movie to her and how I feel. We embraced while it played and I felt a warmth and contentment I never thought I'd feel again. The music echoes in my mind, my heart and my soul. It reminds me of a time I couldn't have imagined and a week that truly was, one of the greatest weeks of my life.

Well, thats it. Thats the story of my Thanksgiving week... at least the abridged version. I didn't feel like going into more detail than I had to, just enough to hit the point and move on. All I can do is thank Lisa, Alyssa, Taryn, Sean, Chantelle, Diaz, Aaron, Nikki, Ian, Jose and Tahl's Crew for giving me a once-in-a-life-time sort of experience; as if the past 4 days were a nexus in all of our lives for something truly unique. Oh well, these are the times that make life worth living. I leave you with the words of Bob Dylan... which I can only thing of as "our song":

The man in me will do nearly any task,
And as for compensation, there's little he would ask.
Take a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.

Storm clouds are raging all around my door,
I think to myself I might not take it any more.
Take a woman like your kind
To find the man in me.

But, oh, what a wonderful feeling
Just to know that you are near,
Sets my a heart a-reeling
From my toes up to my ears.

The man in me will hide sometimes to keep from bein' seen,
But that's just because he doesn't want to turn into some machine.
Took a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.


Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: melancholy
Sunday, November 18th, 2007
12:29 pm
Tell Me Where Did You Sleep Last Night


So on Thursday I got a call from Tor. I love getting calls from him, because I fucking love that guy. Seriously, it's always good to hear from that god. Anyway, he called me to ask me to come to see the Pirates Charles play with Mursic at CIA in North Hollywood. Because of my work schedule I haven't been able to see the Pirates in the past 2 months, but I happened to have Friday night off and it was a perfect opportunity to support my friends and go to a venue I've never been to before.

Orry and I finished Shabbat Dinner, met up with Gabe then drove out to Burbank and Tujunga to find CIA... apparently we had to look for a scary looking clown on a large iron gate... and of course Pirates standing outside the front. It's an interesting venue... kind of like an evil sideshow got taken over by pirates... it was awesome! It was all ages but they had a bar, it was hot and cramped but it was a great show. I ran into a lot of people I know, I got interviewed by the CSUN radio station, I bought the Mursic CD and I showed strong support for my friends. We got out around 1am... it was a great time.

I have the entire weekend off (randomly) and I've been doing everything I can to make sure I relax and recharge. I've been having emotional issues with work and school lately and I needed some time off to get mentally stable. For the most part, my Saturday was productive and enjoyable. I woke up late in the afternoon, I went out with Orry and Kyle to see Saw IV - which was really good - and then hung out at home for a while. Later in the night the 3 of us went out to Up In Smoke (Hookah Bar) to just talk and spend some time together... very rarely do the three of us get to hang out, so it was really nice. Afterward I came back home, sparked up and watched Viruosity with Colby.

During the evening, between Saw IV and the Hookah Bar I spent some time chatting with Taryn. She's a friend that I've got interest in and it was nice to be able to spend some time talking to her on the phone... she's an amazing woman, truth be told, and I'm glad for the opportunity to get to know her better.

My Sunday might prove to be more on the relaxing side and less on the productive side. I plan on ordering some Indian food and enjoying Survivor Series with the roomies. I need to return the DVD's I rented and grab some new ones. All-in-all, pretty chill.

Well, that's enough brain-dumping for now... I did the best I could to reduce that feeling of "there was something more I wanted to say" but I can never really get rid of it. Oh well.

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: awake
Thursday, November 15th, 2007
5:29 pm
Ave Maria
So, in the last 24 hours I've watched 4 movies. Each movie more movie like than the last. Other things happened too, I'll get to them in a minute god damnit!

Anyway, the movies:

Tekkonkinkreet (aka Black & White) - This was the first of the four movies Colby and I watched. God damn was it amazing. Absolutely amazing and brilliant and worthy of it's Oscar nomination for Best Animated Film. This is what good anime is people... go rent it.

Johnny Mnemonic - The 2nd movie we watched and a personal all-time favorite. I have a wicked hard-on for Cyberpunk and as far as films go, this is one of the best. Makes me all warm and fuzzy to see this movie again, I'm glad we rented it.

Idiocracy - I wanted to see this movie in theaters but never really got around to. This is Mike Judge's vision for our future staring Luke Wilson. It was actually very well made and very funny. I recommend seeing it if you want to see a very accurate satire on our society and culture.

The Marine - Far and away one of the worst movies ever made... hands down. This action romp stars John Cena (former WWE Champion) basically murdering people and leaping out of exploding buildings (approximately 13 times by my count)... all to recover his wife who was kidnapped by probably the worst jewel thieves ever conceived by the human mind. Seriously. Go see this movie, it's so god damn awful its amazing.

Other stuff:

School is rapidly coming to an end... less than a month remains between me and my degree in psychology. This terrifies the ever-living fuck out of me. After 15 years of school it's hard to imagine not being in it... you know? Oh well, I just need to stay on track and everything will be golden.

It was Sean's birthday yesterday, Chance through a little kick-back at their place. It was really fun, I got to hang out with the old crew, take shots of tequila, smoke some J and play X-Box 360. It was a gay old time and I'm always grateful to hang out with those guys. Happy birthday Sean my boy!

I took the day off today just to recharge. Work was a god damn disaster-fuck last night and I just needed a day to sleep in and relax. Which is exactly what I did and I feel better. I worked on game, ran some errands, paid a bill and generally just kinda hung out.

I'm sitting here alone in the dark, listening to Maria Callas sing Ave Maria... it's so god damn beautiful it makes me want to cry... fuck me, I love Opera.

Tonight I run D&D after which we'll probably watch Virtuosity. If all I told you was that Denzel Washington and Russel Crowe made a movie together, you'd probably think it was good right? I mean... look at American Gangster! If you haven't seen Virtuosity, I'll leave my description at that and let you enjoy it, haha!

I'm going to go lie down and let Maria Callas torture my soul with her aria a little longer... it hurts to hear someone sing so beautifully to God... in a good way.

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: enthralled
Tuesday, November 13th, 2007
11:42 am
All of Me is Inside My Mind
This past weekend seems like a blur, even though each and every day felt like it took forever.

Friday was early work, early out. No shabbat dinner, parents had plans. Lisa was sick so I chatted with her online for a while. At some point she felt good enough to go out, at which point she pleased me by coming over with Willow. Thats right. Mother-fucking Willow. You don't like that movie? You're a god-damn liar. The brownies alone make that film a cinematic masterpiece - don't even get me started on Val Kilmer in drag and those crazy acorns. Anyway, Lisa was kind enough to hang out late into the night... even though my house is a sty and my roommates can get quite loud. After she left I hung out with Colby a bit and prepared for my long weekend of work.

I had to work Saturday, Sunday and Monday night. This was a problem because I was going to bed so late I ended up waking up around 1-2 every day. This left me with about 2 hours of sitting-around time before I had to go into work. I felt like this whole weekend was very unproductive... I went to bed late, woke up late then went into work.

Nikki was in town on Saturday, it was also Adam Poole's birthday and Noelle Simeon's birthday. I got off work at 10, went to Pickwick's to share a drink with Adam then went to Fridays to hang out with Nikki and the crew. I completely forgot (like the douche I am) that Noelle was ending her birthday celebration there... so I got to wish her a happy birthday and hang out with Mike, Tyler and the rest of them. Several drinks later we came back to the Friar house to smoke Nikki out and watch old episodes of the Simpsons and Dog Whisperer.

Sunday and Yesterday involved work and hanging out at Justin's (bartender at CPK) apartment watching Big Labowski and Knocked-Up and listening to Sublime. He has this very nice ROOR and some super-quality OG. He's a chill guy, he lives close to work and Colby digs him... so we kind of have a new smoking buddy.

I managed to write my paper for Adolescence somewhere in there. I didn't get enough sleep last night. I'm sitting outside of my cognition class - I got about 20 minutes before I go in there... good lord I'm tired. We have an experiment to finish today and I need to do all the work for my game tonight - as I won't have any time later this week before game happens on Thursday.

I end this again with the lingering feeling of wanting to say something more... oh well...

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, November 7th, 2007
11:34 pm
Blackouts, Dario Argento and Legs Sawed Off with Razor Wire
Monday was an interesting day. I spent the day catching up on TV and shows that I didn't have time to watch and relaxed before work. Work was generally dead, but there was an interesting high point: a customer came in who turned out to be an industry connection. He works on comic books and games in Los Angeles and was also really cool. We talked for a while, I gave him my card and we agreed to keep in touch.

I got cut early and ended up going home and studying a bit for my midterm on Tuesday. After I studied, Colby and I got together and watched Dario Argento's Suspiria. Let me say, that movie was the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. That movie has achieved a coveted spot on my "Movies that seriously fucked with my head" list, along with The Ring. Seriously, that movie gave me nightmares... bad ones. It kept me in terror well through the next day... I recall getting out of the shower, recalling a particularly horrifying scene, and my roomate startled me by saying, "Hey." I jumped and started shaking... I can't remember being that scared in a while... it was perfect. I seriously need to buy that movie.

Last night Alan cooked Machaca and the whole house got together to eat. Somehow we got on the topic of Blackouts... a stupid stunt we'd seen in Beer Fest. Colby and I had the brilliant idea to do one and then watch this Korean horror film The Eye. So we ate dinner then proceeded to make the biggest mistake of the evening; what is a blackout? A blackout is when you do a bong-load, then - while holding it in - drinking a full beer, doing a shot of alcohol (in our case, whiskey) and then exhaling the smoke. I made it through the beer but couldn't make it to the shot... I drank the beer too slow and needed to exhale. But Colby? He was a champion. He made it through all of it. Afterward we proceeded to drink a large energy drink (we needed to stay awake long enough to watch the movie!) and took leave of the rest of the household to go watch The Eye. Somehow we thought it was a good idea to vap some more during the movie... just to keep the mood going. It wasn't that scary... we got food and called it a night.

Today was essentially my day off. I went to my club and picked up some more product... I also bought a new bowl for my bong (it broke while I was trying to clean it.) Orry came over, we ordered some chinese food and ended up watching Voyager. Tahl came over and hung out for a while too. Eventually everyone left and I worked on D&D until Colby came home. We went and got food and watched Simpsons and Kitchen Nightmares for a while. I had just got Audition in the mail from Amazon and we got everything together to enjoy a truly horrifying film... one that claims to go farther than Dario Argento in terms of macabre horror. We vap'd and put the film on... good lord, what a mind-fuck. The movie was kind of slow but the end... jesus... it did not dissapoint. I can't really explain what happened... it was just crazy and very scary... I'm going to have nightmares tonight too... I can't wait.

Tomorrow is another day, one I look forward to.

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: stoned
Sunday, November 4th, 2007
10:39 am
One Foot In The Grave
So today is my dad's birthday. Last night we took him out to see American Gangster and dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. The movie was good (not great) and dinner was delicious. It was nice to spend some quality time with my father - he has given me so much in life I feel like I can never repay him for his parenting and kindness. I very much like who I am and I owe it almost completely to him; hard to believe he's 58.

Tonight is the first session in the game my group wanted me to run. I don't know if I'm really ready but I'm excited - everyone is. I barely got my shift covered at work today so I could prepare and run it tonight, I hope it goes well.

I decided that I'm going to take my little sister (9 years old) to a movie, we're going to go see the Bee Movie. I think it'll be nice... I don't get to spend a lot of time with her and I want her to have positive thoughts of me from her childhood.

School/Work is always the same: stress, responsibility, reward, mate, feed, kill, repeat.

I always have this feeling like I have more to say. Like there is something I want to express and unleash onto this digital forum and I just can't put my finger on it. Oh well, maybe I'll remember later.

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: awake
Tuesday, October 30th, 2007
12:40 pm
Lasciate Ogni Speranza, Voi Ch'Entrate
Today is going to be one of those days... Not only do I know it, but my friends seem to know it too...

Last night was the end of the 2nd wave of movies Colby and I have been riding. We ended this set with Sphere. Much like Event Horizon I honestly forgot how much I love this movie. Dustin Hoffman, Samuel L. Jackson, Sharon Stone and Queen Latifa... an amazing cast for an amazing movie. Tonight we return to Hollywood Video for more movies.

I guess I woke up in a "mood." I was rested but still tired... I woke up earlier than I wanted and couldn't go back to sleep. The drive to school was mentally stimulating: I listened to the Mastodon CD "Leviathan"and thought about the upcoming game I'm going to be running. Something about that Mastodon CD just helps me think. I parked on the top floor of the parking lot and was then gifted with an elevator that made it to the top floor, it just refused to go down. We all got in, the doors closed and it just didn't move. We pushed the button... nothing. We pushed the "open door" button and they opened... we pushed the "close door" button and they closed, but it just wouldn't move.

I don't really want to be here today, but I must for one reason or another. I finally put in my application for Psi Chi - the Psychological Honor Society. I have met the requirements and will now be graduating from CSUN with Honors - hurray for me! This cognition lecture (from which I am posting) is probably the most boring thing I have ever sat through. Lisa keeps looking over at my screen... wondering what I'm writing about.

I have no costume and no Halloween plans tomorrow. As such, I have decided to work tomorrow night. Hopefully I can find someone to cover Sunday night so I can run the first session of the game.

I forgot to mention that Friday Night I saw Tahl in concert and went to Mike's party. Tahl's band was actually pretty good - as far as Ska is concerned. I went with my dad and Orry, it was good times. Afterward I went to Mike's Halloween party. It was fun: Tyler's band(s) performed, I met new people, had 1/2 a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label and 4 shots of Maker's Mark, smoked a little and hung out.

Last night I decided to swing by my parent's house after work. My dad was excited because he found a box of photos of him from the '70's. It was awesome to see what he looked like back then, he had a huge fro and was very good looking. Most of the photos were either him performing/with his band, with a girl on his arm or high... what a pimp... oh to live in the '70's.

Courtney brought me fudge today, what a sweetheart. I have to get a flu shot at some point.

Oh, shit, I just remembered what I needed to do.

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: bored
Monday, October 29th, 2007
2:38 am
The Darkness Surrounding Me
So here I sit, at my computer, alone in the dark at 2:40 in the morning. Right now seems like an apt time to post; I am somehow motivated by the constant drone of the refrigerator and the methodical snoring coming from distant rooms. The soothing sounds of solitude; the sweet symphony of the lonely night; the haunting melody that tickles my ears as the sound of my own drawn breath threatens to paralyze me in terror...

For some reason the junk mail that came with the mail yesterday wasn't thrown away. In my boredom and need for a novel - yet temporary - escape from my typical fare drove me to examine my local couponclipper magazine. Within it's pages - all to eager to be read - I found a pleasant surprise. A coupon for rent 1 get 1 free at Hollywood Video. What luck, for just days earlier I had created an account at my 2nd most local Hollywood Video to fulfill a sick need for suspense and horror. Continuing in that perverse vain that began with Saw III and House on Haunted Hill, Colby and I decided to keep the ball rolling and visit the local Hollywood Video last night. We grabbed Event Horizon, Hostel II and Sphere. We watched Event Horizon that very night... my god... I forgot how terrifying that movie is and I have fallen in love with it all over again. Such brilliant majesty, contained within pure chaos and destruction.

Tonight we watched Hostel II. To even begin to think of it's awfulness causes me to lose my very nice atmosphere that I have going for myself here. It was god awful, end of discussion.

Afterward we proceeded to watch the end of the top 100 scariest moments in horror; some special that Colby recorded. It was totally on the ball till #1: Jaws. Fuck that, what a let down.

The ghost that possessed me to write in a much darker mind-set seems to have left... time to revert to typical blogging demeanor.

Work has been going well... though it seems to be going on forever. I am making good money though, can't complain about that.

Last night I had such grand ideas. I was going to get together with people... go out... have a good time. Didn't happen. Tahl came over to pick up some stuff, we had a little session and that was that. I ended up just sitting in front of my computer while all of my friends played D&D in the back yard. Thankfully, Lisa was online and kept me company. We ended up chatting for 4 1/2 hours while switching back and forth between a low-budget Vampire special on the History Channel and Underworld on AMC. While it was unfortunate for her that she was bound at home and could not go out, I was grateful for the company.

My players have asked me to start a game for them. It forces me to put some projects on the side, but I am welcome for the distraction and the eagerness. It's been a good, long time since I ran a game; and I honestly feel like I'm ready to commit to one again. I look forward to working on it during my Adolescence lecture.

The refrigerator stopped making noise... the snoring has ceased... the water that drips endlessly from our broken shower head doesn't seem to be making its tell-tale "drip... drip... drip..." The sound of the keys clacking as I type these words sounds so otherwordly - it scares me to think that I am making these sounds. I think I hear music... or the sound of an old man talking. Such strange things manifest in the dark and silence.

I am so tired, but the thought of going to bed is absolutely horrifying. Perhaps that chilling terror that I sought in all those horror movies has finally come to me. I wish I had never longed for it, it's a terrible thing.

Until next time,

Adieu~
Thursday, October 25th, 2007
12:47 pm
Bullet in the Brainpan
I keep looking at my various blogging and internet communication sites and wonder why it hasn't updated itself... it almost seems like too much work to write about myself or what's been going on.

School has been interesting for the most part. On one hand, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am in fact done with school in less than 2 months. The friendships that I have made over the past semesters are solidifying and I am grateful for the fact that I have gotten closer with people here. The classes are fairly straight-forward and so far I'm doing exceptionally well in one class and passably well in another. The workload is bearable and I am truly understanding all of my concepts. I am a little worried about my paper in Adolescence and the progress of my experiment in Cognition... but we shall see.

Work has been getting better and better. I feel like I have been having an exceptionally difficult time adjusting to serving at CPK. I understand that it is a very familial environment, but for some reason I never really felt that I found my niche. But the more I work there the more comfortable I get and the less I dread going into work. If you're hungry and in the Tarzana area, feel free to stop by and be served by me.

The fires... I think enough people in so-cal have said enough about the fires. They manifest a sense of dread and overwhelming feeling of distant destruction and depression. It's a touchy thing and my heart goes out to those that suffer... especially those that I know personally.

Yesterday was a fun day. My initial plan was to rent Saw III and watch it so I can be prepared for Saw IV. Orry called me and asked me if I wanted to go to lunch, Colby ended up coming home early so he joined us. After some debate we settled on a new place that we've been wanting to go to for a long time: Senor Fred Restaurant in Sherman Oaks. It's a semi-fancy Mexican joint on Ventura and Woodman. It was amazing, we ate a wide variety of food, had some great drink, interesting atmosphere (my kind of place, dark and European looking), good conversation, great company and EPIC dessert (seriously... churros... fuck yes.) After our $130 lunch I took Orry home and Colby and I had a little adventure.

We went to Hollywood Video to go find Saw III. We ended up at the one at the El Camino Shopping Center and spent over an hour and a half just walking up and down the aisles, taking a trip down memory lane. We kept pointing out movies we loved from days gone by and started making a mental list for movies we want to rent... seriously, man, who rents anymore? So, we ended up with 3 movies: Saw III (for reasons previously mentioned), House on Haunted Hill (we went out and bought Return to House on Haunted Hill, which sucked, and we were determined to re-live the horror of the original - which was awesome) and the 1977 animated version of The Hobbit... fuck you if you don't appreciate why I rented that. It was one of my earliest introductions into Fantasy and was a large influence on who I am today. I love that fucking movie.

So we returned to the homestead at which point Colby and I went to his room, smoked a bowl and enjoyed the horror of Saw III. Afterward, Orry, Kyle, Colby and myself went out to see Michael Clayton. I highly recommend seeing that movie, it was a hell of a ride. Absolutely brilliant writing, acting, suspense and an ending to die for. Totally a Dark Horse movie; it was very complicated and you really need to dedicate yourself to understanding the plot. I understand why it didn't do well but I'm glad I saw it. After that, we came back home (at which point everyone got stoned) and we relaxed to The Hobbit. Again, I love that movie so much... I think I need to buy it.

I ended up staying up till 3am watching Food Network stuff. I went to sleep, slept well and woke up feeling completely out of it. Today is going to be a long one... a very long one. I hope I can keep with it, because I feel like I'm in a dissociative fugue (for more information on that, see Fight Club.)

The plan for today is to go see 30 Days of Night after school... after that, well, I have options. Courtney has invited me to Howl at the Moon for drinks... Colby wants to see House on Haunted Hill... and others that I don't really recall right now... Oh, theres an 11:55 showing of Saw IV at the Pacific Winnetka 21... maybe I'll go see that.

I'm updating from my Cognition Lecture... I should probably go back to paying attention. More updates to follow in a relatively shorter time frame.

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: lethargic
Monday, October 8th, 2007
8:45 pm
I'm not the only one...
http://www.gamealmighty.com/story-individual/story/Gamings_about_to_go_third_worldwide-1/

So, ever since I began to combine my knowledge of Psychology with my experience of Gaming, I have had a solid belief that gaming should be an integral part of the minds of developing individuals. Gaming is more than entertainment, it promotes social interaction, cognitive faculties and overall intellectual development. When I discovered this article I was overwhelmed with a sense of satisfaction; I was absolutely thrilled to see people in positions of influence utilize this viewpoint. Not only am I happy that gaming is being used to help underdeveloped countries, but it further solidifies and legitimizes my own viewpoint on the interaction of gaming as it pertains to psychological development. I am interested to see the results of this intervention as I hope to implement this philosophy in my career as a game designer.

It's been a while since I've updated... since Yom Kippur actually. Since then a lot has happened... kinda. My cousin and his girlfriend are back in Israel, at the end I spent more time with them and was grateful for the experience. My grandparents will soon be leaving as they've been here for over a month and the holidays are just about over. My family is returning to its normal routines and we are glad to have survived another year of high holidays.

I am getting more comfortable with work. I feel like I am finally finding my place and my anxiety has all but subsided. School is also going well, I am excelling in my studies and am looking forward to finally graduating... which reminds me, I need to pay that fee so I can make sure I graduate with honors.

All in all things seem to be going well; I seem to be on a general "up" as it relates to my emotional state and my life is in a good place. Hopefully it persists... at least for a longer-than-usual while. I hope all goes well for all of you my friends. If there is anything I can complain about it's that I'm not spending enough time with my friends. Because of how occupied I've been with my game designing, school and work I feel like I am neglecting some of them. I am working to free up some more time for myself so I can catch up with those who I may not have interacted with in a while. Lord knows I try, but I suppose not hard enough.

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: tired
Saturday, September 22nd, 2007
11:58 am
Yom Kippur Reflection... Reflection
Today is Yom Kippur. I am sitting at home, fasting, and it hit me that last year I wrote a Yom Kippur reflection. I went back to that just now and decided to post it again; everything I said back then is still relevant today... and it's amazing to think it's been a year already. From 10/1/2006:

Since Yom Kippur is today, it makes one reflect on life and start considering some interesting and important ideas.

The Rabbinical Council in Israel has a very difficult job of sitting around and finding ways to not only question the Torah and Talmud but to also find ways to interpret its meaning into modern times.

Unlike the Constitution, which has been amended to fit the times and needs of the country, the Torah and Talmud must remain a constant if it is going to serve as the basis for comparison.

With all the information in science, technology, philosophy and just life in general, we must always return to that ancient Tome and question it's meanings, lessons and points. That being said, we must also apply it's rules and traditions to emerging thoughts, ideas and technologies.

For example, there was no electricty during the time of Abraham, however, the tradition of No Work on the Sabbath must be adhered to if it is to be kept as a tradition. That being said, the Rabbinical Council deemed (atleast for Orthodox Jews) that activating and using any electrical device was considered Work. And thus, the Tradition's intent was updated with the times.

However, I still think the Rabbinical Council is a bit behind when it comes to the Internet, let alone livejournal. That being said, i'm going to take advantage of this powerful communications tool in order to fulfil a tradition that I have decided to adhere to on a more powerful basis.

This post, albeight a long one, is actually about forgiveness. Everything before this was just information and thought/reflection. As it is Yom Kippur and as I have changed as a person over the years, I find myself needing to ask forgiveness from those who are in my life but do not find the time, nor the phone numbers, to get in touch with everyone individually.

That being said, here we go... also bare in mind this is only for people who actually know me and have known me for longer than it takes to click "Add to Friends" so if that doesn't include you, sorry, but ignore this (probably should have put this at the top.):

Anyway, so, let's be honest, none of us are perfect. Far from it, i'm sure that all of us have something or do something that someone else we know has either not liked or taken offense to. That being said, I know for a fact that I have done things in the past that have been wrong and flat out bad. Be it backtalking, stealing, cursing, physically or emotionally harming or any other evil act... i'm sure i've done it to someone at sometime in my life, let alone in the past year.

Am I proud of that? No. Do I deny it happened? No. And i'm not going to fool myself into thinking im some sort of Divine being free from sin. That being said, I present myself to you, the people who know me and whose lives have been forever changed (be it on a large or small scale, for good or bad) by my interaction with it, and ask for your forgiveness.

Bare in mind that whether or not I deserve that forgiveness is entirely up to you. It is a matter of serious consideration, given how I have treated you and how you feel about it. Knowing that my actions will serve as lessons for the future do not change what I have done nor how it has effected you. All you can do is understand that the build up weighs heavily on my soul is powerful enough to warrent a forcefel reflection and review.

So that's it, respond to this or not, it's up to you. Laugh about it, talk to your friends about how silly it is that I went this route, but whatever. I stand by my feelings and by what I said. If you can find me worthy of that forgiveness, I ask that you give it to me.

I have a hard time with religion and spirituality, but one cannot argue with some basic facts and tennents about being a good person.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and think about it. I appreciate it from all of you.

Gmar Chatimah Tovah, I hope that if there is a God, he looks favorably upon all of you, and deems your souls worthy to be written in the Great Book.

Thank you,

Ophir Klainman
If anyone wants to get in touch with me you can e-mail me, leave me a message here, or call me.

email: sonpanda@gmail.com
livejournal: You should figure this out.

Current Mood: hungry
Monday, September 17th, 2007
9:42 pm
Where the #$%* have I been!?
As of the night of Tuesday, September 11th I had ceased to exist in this reality, so to speak. The combination of my new job at CPK, my family coming in from Israel and the Jewish High Holidays took me out of this world and thrust me into a world of absolute terror and living nightmare. Let me elaborate:

Family:
My grandparents, my cousin and his girlfriend came in from Israel on Monday. My grandparents are here to celebrate the High Holidays throughout the month of September. My cousin and his girlfriend are here to visit/tour America. Wednesday was the eve of Rosh Hashanah, we went to Temple on Thursday and had lunch at my Aunt's. They are thankfully staying with my Aunt so that we don't get imposed by them at my parents house. I plan on seeing them many more times as we're taking our religious responsibilities a bit more hard-core serious while they are here. This Friday we're going to Temple for Kol Nidre as this Saturday is Yom Kippur.

CPK Tarzana:
Wednesday morning at 6:45 I woke up to prepare for the first of 4 training days. If I only knew what I was getting myself into, I would have not bothered with the rest of the training and tried to find a job elsewhere. The training, which was supposed to take 2 weeks normally (and could be shortened to 6 days if need be) would only last 4 days because I was on the schedule for tonight (Monday.) We were each given a training manual an inch thick and were told that each training day would consist of class (from 7:30am to 11:00am) and "shadow shifts," which meant following a server around, doing hands-on training. Furthermore, each day (after the first) we were required to take a test, in which we had to recall memorized ingredients for items on the menu and procedures. The tests were hardcore, we weren't trained that well and I was an absolute nervous wreck. I was being thrust into a very difficult serving job with shaky training. It was exhausting, it was terrifying, it was absolutely draining. I took 4 of the tests, I have 1 more take-home test and a final (yes, I shit you not, a final) left to take. I had my first solo-night tonight, which went very well (all things considered.) I am sore all over and I'm mentally dead. I guess I'm glad I went through it all, the money is fantastic and the people are great... but if I had to do it again, I wouldn't.

Well, thats about it for whats been going on with me. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch, but my entire world was focused on everything that was happening. I'm glad to be back in the normal world.

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: exhausted
Friday, September 7th, 2007
1:59 pm
Sexual Harassment Is No Laughing Matter!
First of all, I thought this was funny:



Second, I thought this was interesting:

Don't Dismiss Online Relationships as Fantasy

Finally:

So I finally got a job. I am serving at the CPK (California Pizza Kitchen) in Tarzana (on Venture between Reseda and Tampa). I had my orientation today, which involved filling out a mountain of paperwork, taking a tour, being introduced to some people and watching a 30 minute video on Sexual Harassment. Good lord was that video hysterical; it had a soundtrack that, I swear to god, sounded like the sound effects from Seinfeld. My official training starts on Monday and I have to go buy the parts of my uniform. Regardless, congratulations to me, I'm finally working again.

I am currently sitting in the 2nd (of 2) days for my sexual development seminar. I'm here till 8pm, after which I am going to Saddle Ranch at City Walk to celebrate Kyle's birthday. Consider I was up at 8am for training, this is going to be a LONG day. Here's hoping I survive it.

On Monday my family from Israel comes into town and will mark the official beginning of the High Holiday Season... Fuck, September is going to kick my ass.

Tuesday I have my meeting at the Department of Labor to get my money from William. I am scared to death... that man terrifies me. Thankfully my dad is coming with for support.

Just needed to release a little bit as a preamble to this long weekend.

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: tired
Sunday, September 2nd, 2007
3:56 pm
Cold Showers
First of all (Stolen from damndirtycrane):

NerdTests.com says I&apos;m a Nerd King.  What are you?  Click here!


So Orry has a theory: Have you ever seen those movies where a satanic cult is trying to bring about Hell on earth? He thinks they are succeeding.

How hot does it have to be to look forward to a cold shower? Multiple consecutive days of 100+ degree heat with no air conditioning... That hot. Hot enough to cause to spontaneously burst into flame on the freeway (is happening right now, swear to god.) Hot enough to kill off the old people. Hot enough to cause earthquakes (I cannot confirm it is the heat, but I'm going to guess it is.) Hot enough to make you question the benevolence of God and wonder how you can sell your soul to the devil to join in his hellish crusade.

Its been a good long while since I posted... I know, I just haven't gotten around to it. School is in full swing and so far, it looks like I'll be able to handle it and finally get my degree (yay!) You remember that girl (Lisa) that I had a crush on last semester? I have another class with her (1 of 2)... we'll see how that goes. Otherwise, school is going fine.

I'm still unemployed and looking for a job. I've reduced my options to restaurant work because it works with my schedule and the pay is enough... so far I've failed in acquiring one, next week is the last one I can afford to go without work.

Relationships have been falling apart around me... a couple of my friends have recently ended their long-term relationships for various reasons. I wonder if thats some kind of sign of the apocalypse.

Been feeling generally depressed lately, not sure whats behind that. Probably my inability to get a job and the lack of money... but it feels like there is more to it.

I have a meeting at the Department of Labor on 9/11 to get the money that is owed to me by my asshole of a boss. I am terrified of that meeting... I hope it goes well.

I took a cold shower this morning to start off the day. I woke up in a pool of sweat and unbearable heat in my room. I'm looking forward to taking another one.

I saw Balls of Fury today. Don't see it. It's terrible... seriously. I'm going to go see Death Sentence later... that looks good.

I babysat my sister last night, it was very nice. I need to be in her life more so she grows up with fondness for me... it's tough considering I'm not around that often.

It's too hot to think of anything else going on... I just keeping thinking of cold showers... mmm... cold showers...

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: hot
Saturday, July 28th, 2007
6:43 pm
The Dark Knight Returns
I have returned from the most wretched hive of scum and villainy known as Las Vegas. The trip was fantastic. More to follow later once I've recovered more. That is all.

Until next time,

Adieu~

Current Mood: tired
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